When I was a kid we used to sometimes have cucumber sliced very thin with malt vinegar. It was something that my mum had got from some elderly family friends who fled Poland as refugees in the 1940s.
My estate has a a community garden and vegetable patch. It has had some vegetables (tomatoes, pumpkins) planted in which is great, and though it needs a bit (quite a lot in fact) of TLC there were some cucumbers successfully getting fat and old that I managed to pick. These aren't your long smooth Dutch class of cucumber, but a specially spiked fatman variety, more like the little Middle Eastern ones. These four have been left a bit too long on the vine so the seeds had got hard and slightly unpleasant. Not a problem, I just scooped out the middle.
Slice your cucumber as thin as possible and add lots of malt vinegar. Sprinkle over a little sea salt . That's all. That's your lot.
For bonus points serve on a plate with an pre-eminent British general.
General Lord Kitchener of Khartoum